Inappropriate flexing

The rick edition

Oh Lord, Here Come The Resolutioners...

So I was chatting with my dude Karl, and he asked me if my gym get's that 2-month wave of what I call "resolutioners." With all that's going on in my life I hadn't realized that the wave is coming, and irritation immediately set in.

Resolutioners are those folks who resolve to make a serious lifestyle change which includes a diet and fitness regimen in the New Year. Now I'd love nothing more than to see people make positive change in their lives, but usually January and February is fraught with newbie gym-goers who talk to much, rest too long, and don't put their weights back. And they always seem to be on the machine that I want.

Anyways, this article from T-Nation pretty much sums it up.

"Well, Bob, I guess you could use the term bodybuilder if you really need a label for what it is we do. Most of us actually don't stand on stage and compete, though. We lift weights and manipulate our diets so that we'll look good naked. Sure, it's healthy too, and we'll probably live a longer and more productive life than the average guy, but mostly it's about the naked thing. Truthfully, it goes beyond even that.

"Let's be honest here. We do it because of people like you, Bob. We look at you sitting there with your gut hanging over your belt and we watch you grunt and groan just getting out of a chair. Guys like you are our inspiration, Bob. You're better than Anthony Robbins, Bill Phillips, Deepak Chopra, and Zig fucking Ziglar all wrapped up into one. We love it when guys like you talk about not having time to exercise. Every time we see you munching on a bag of potato chips, you inspire us. You're my shot in the arm, Bob, my living and breathing wake-up call, my own personal success coach.

The entire article is here:

The end is always closer than the beginning...

Isn’t that what being young is about, believing secretly that you would be the one person in the history of man that would live forever?
-David Aames, Vanilla sky

I talk a lot about the power of the mind, and willing your reality into fruition. I think it fascinates and excites me because it can change your whole world. One thing it cannot change, and which is a great source of apprehension for me, is that despite owning an iron will, nothing can stop that inevitable march towards a cold and bitter end.

I bring this up because over the Thanksgiving holiday I spent some time with my Grandma before she passed.

As I sat on her bedside my mom handed me a paper that outlined her bed exercises. I was fixated on the sheet of her bed rehab regimen because I couldn't grasp that the power of the human body and spirit could be reduced to what most people would call tossing and turning in bed- things that the youthful give not a second thought.

I tell tales of my 20th rep with 225- her tales would be filled with "sit up in bed" and "bring knees towards chest." With friends I boast and brag about the weights I've conquered that day- she was lucky to conquer the commode.
As a bodybuilder, it's hard to wrap your head around basic human functions as the biggest challenge of the day. Did she dread a spongebath like I dread leg day? She aspired to be able to sit upright without folding like an accordion; the able can't comprehend taking a shower as a grueling affair.

There comes a point where despite all your will, father time wins.

The pain about death is two-fold. One you mourn the loss of your loved one, but secondly, and perhaps more painfully, is the realization that you too are not exempt- death yells "hey buddy, ya you, I see you in the corner..." This realization is ofter tortuous because humans are inherently ME-centric and this reminder of our mortality is unwelcome.

Despite my deep fear of death, the adage "Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse" is actually sounding like a relatively appetizing proposition.

Dear Santa

I want a big back for Xmas.

Love,

Ryan

RIP Guma

Guma showing me where my trademark vascular arms come from

My grandma called me "legs." I'd walk into a room and she'd say "Hey Legs!" and would marvel any time she got to see them. She enjoyed their shape and tone. Little did she know she was appreciating bodybuilding.

The great bodybuilders all have that trademark body part be it arms or back or whatever. Tom Platz and Branch Warren come to mind when you think of ridiculous wheels.

A few nights ago my Grandma passed away- losing her battle with cancer, but winning the war of Life.
She leaves behind a legacy of 10 kids, 20+ grandkids, and 20+ great grandkids.
She also apparently left behind a great set of legs. Thanks Guma.

"You've been the brunt of their weakness for years and strength
is something you know a bit about because you had to be strong to keep
yourself alive."

-Henry Rollins

335

Training Today

Workout Tips

God answers prayers, but sometimes the answer is No...
or sometimes his answer is HELLO!!?!?!?

So this cat I know stops me the other day as I'm on my way to the bathroom and stops me.

He says, "hey man, can I get some workout tips?"

Ya man, I'm always down to talk training.

He asks again- "cool, so do you have any tips?"

Now don't get me wrong- I want to help people, I really do- but I'd rather help people help themselves- but I had to pause. I don't know that anyone's asked for "tips." That's like asking a waitress for "food" or asking Santa for "toy." I couldn't really size him up and assess his situation, seeing as we were both fully clothed at work so I asked- "well what's your goal or objective?"

"Burn some fat"

"Ok well here we go a good start" I think in my mind.

"So what do you do now, do you train?"

"No"

"How's your diet"

"I drink too much and I eat like sh*t"

"Well I'm no trying to be rude, but in all honesty it sounds like you have all the answers you need right in front of you man!"

He sits and pauses, with this sort of confused look on his face,

"Well when you get back to your old regimen, let me know and I'll see what I can do..."

Then, I can see the realization as it happens.
"Thanks man" and he walks away.

5 Dirtiest Foods

Take home message: wash before enjoying.

Here:

Funny Take on 1975 Olympia

1975 Olympia - Cheap Seats
Uploaded by Tech9

Triangle Man Cometh, Triangle Man Goeth

If you have ever stepped foot on the UC Berkeley campus between what seems like the late 90's up to now, you undoubtedly know about "Triangle Man"

Who is Triangle Man you ask? He's a permanent fixture at the Recreational Sports Facility, asian ghetto, and many other popular student haunts around campus. He is the subject of legend, spawning fake myspace profiles, facebook appreciation groups,and his following has garnered bigfoot-like cult status.

Triangle Man- his obvious lat width is apparent in this sighting at the asian ghetto near UC Berkeley

He likely earned the name triangle man because of his complete imbalance in upper body development, chest and lats, and complete lack of legs. His outfits also helped shape his monniker- you can ALWAYS find him clad in uber tight spandex and velour tops, fanny pack, dark sunglasses, earphones and tight jeans all year long- not even the gym can get him out of his uniform.

Triangle man Spotting
Who's legend is bigger? In the East Bay, TM wins hands down!

I remember seeing him around the gym, and dude was strong. He trained mostly with machines and often used the entire stack on the chest press. I think that the chest press and the ab machine were all I ever saw him use. I was my scrawny 150 lb self so I was eager to get bigger by any means necesssary, but I knew better than to solicit him for help. Talking to him would be like crossing the streams in ghostbusters, or touching your future self in Back to the future- basically the whole universe as we know it would cease to exist. So I plodded along in mediocrity for the rest of my college career while he and his mass completely took all the wind outta my sails during each encounter. The ubiquitous amounts of alcohol probably didn't help my hypertrophy pursuits much either.

Triangle man at a party?

Fastforward 7 years and a whole lot of protein later, I'm at Ranch 99 (which is an asian marketplace/strip mall) with Carrie. We had just eaten Pho and were headed to get some Boba. I see this cat sitting at a table with an extremely large laptop, tight Lance Armstrong Biker's top, and a milk tea. I tell her that he looks like this dude I used to see around campus called Triangle Man. But this was not him. Triangle man is a giant, a monster, a man amongst boys. This guy was 150 lbs, maybe.

I get my drink and as I walk out I peer back in and see that the guys desktop is a picture of Triangle Man doing a chest press. It all comes together.

This is Triangle man!!! "It's him I tell her" in subdued excitement. Then my excitement turns to a bit of melancholy reflection. The man who I once revered was now a deflated shell of his former self. It's not supposed to work this way. There is no way I'm supposed to outmuscle Triangle Man. It's an achievement and an outrage at the same time. It's unthinkable and unamerican.

What's next, Santa Claus is fake? Mom is really the Tooth Fairy? Man this is nuts...

My Kinda Training Partner

The shadow, 6X olympia king, Dorian yates trains in his Temple gym, aka the dungeon in England.
His training partner is the kind that elicits the level of intensity necessary for that next level physique.

Low Blow

Literally. Way messed up.

The guy is nutso

He's like a bodybuilder that can do karate. scary!

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