1st MASSage...

Let's face it, there's no cool way for a guy to enter a spa... It's kinda like there's no cool way for a girl to pee standing up- there's just rules embedded in our DNA that are unbreakable.

In recognition of my Birthday Week efforts, Carrie wanted to treat me to a 2 for 1 spa deal where we got side by side massages...

Now I figured, Jay Cutler gets deep tissue work done quite often, so I can take a bodybuilder's approach to it, right?

I walk in, and the extremely soft spoken receptionist greets us. I notice the smell of peppermint and lemons. The air is warm, moist and quiet- there's cucumber infused water pitchers everywhere. I'm convinced it is physically impossible to be angry in this lobby.

We're led to our room with 2 beds, pure moods on blast so hard that I think that an Indian Chief with a coyote is about to hop out the closet. We're told to disrobe and make ourselves comfortable by two of the masseuses- who both probably dont weight 200 lbs combined.. We're asked if there are any areas we'd like them to focus on- from the unforgiving deadlifts and rack deadlifts, I know my lower back and traps could use some TLC. She then asks what intensity I'd like, giving the options of light, medium, or "deep." A man of pride, I can't say anything but deep, so away we go...

I lay face down and they return, and I am treated to some scented oils that really relax me.

Then it begins. I dunno if while I'm laying down with my face in the padded massage face cut out they slight 100lb rub master is switched with a lumberjack with really soft hands, but suddenly I'm getting manhandled.

I musta got the ol' bait n switch cuz she was kickin my butt...

I was going in expecting a relaxing experience, but really it turned out to be quite the challenge- I was still about sore from my Friday chest workout, and I swear she could feel where I needed work. Until she hit my quads- she worked them joints so hard I didn't know if I wanted to cry or laugh- I was digging my nails into my side in order try and not giggle. After trying to just bite my lip and bear it, I had to tell her to pump the brakes on the IT bad work though- that stuff was NO JOKE.

Now I'm back home and Im so relaxed, it's unreal. Let's see if it helps loosen me up for leg day tomorrow. I couldn't imagine going the day after squats.